In my life, I have been that person to whom people spill their guts. Deep, dark secrets, fears, and life complications seem to easily flow from friends, family, and even random strangers in search of some advice. Anywhere I would go, I would attract someone seeking advice.
Question: “Hey, Amelie, I think my husband is having an affair, what do you think I should do?”
Answer: “Couples counseling as a first effort…”
Question: “Amelie, I’ve put on 20 pounds I just can’t shed and I’m seriously depressed about it…suggestions?”
Answer: “You like to cook. You are joining the local healthy cooking club…”
Question: “I love my job, but I hate my boss. It’s really making me question whether to move onto a different company, but the economy is terrible. What do you think, Amelie?”
Answer: “The first step is a conversation with your boss…”
In all my advisement, I had come to one grand conclusion: No matter how difficult a challenge, there was always a practical solution – a plan of action – that can solve the problem.
That is, until this conversation…
“Hey, Amelie, I’m really not happy. I just feel miserable.”
“Ok, has something changed in your life recently or can you pinpoint the source of the misery?”
“Nope, I’m married and have a good job and a nice family. I can’t really pinpoint it, I just feel miserable.”
“What have you already tried to feel better?”
“Everything – seriously. I’ve read books on positive thinking, I’ve seen a therapist, and I feel better for a bit, but the words seem to only help temporarily.”
I said nothing. I was stumped. She had already tried some of the things I may have suggested, but there had to be a solution. How many people are walking around miserable? I decided not to give up – I did the research myself.
When I do research, I get really into it. I got my hands on every self-help book, audio-video course, and read through every article about happiness. I even went as far as to go speak to a therapist myself. As I was perusing through all my resources, something happened. I stumbled upon Positive Psychology – the study of what is right with humans and how this can lead to our own flourishing.
Positive Psychology, otherwise known as the Science of Happiness, had been producing the most amazing studies. The Science of Happiness. Really, a science? Really. Did you know that we all are born with a genetic set point of happiness. Basically, our DNA accounts for 50% of why we are or are not happy. I bet you’re thinking the other 50% depends on how your life turns out (where you live, who you marry, your job etc.) Nope! Research shows us that this type of life circumstance, while important, only accounts for 10% of our happiness!
So, if you were just born a less happy person due to your genes, are you doomed? Absolutely not. Here is the beauty of what positive pscyhology has determined, the other 40% factor that determines are happiness is in our control! We can do exercises and activities to make ourselves happier – permanently. The best part? The research is supported by science.
There are actually ways to SCIENTIFICALLY increase our happiness with practical exercises. At first, I didn’t buy it either. I was like, “You’re trying to tell me that I gain as much doing some happiness exercises as I would if I landed my dream job?” So, I tried it myself. Low and behold…a few days and a few exercises later, I felt happier. It was wild.
I called up my friend and told her what I had discovered and advised her to try some of the exercises…guess what? It helped. In fact, within a week she reported getting a better night’s sleep than she had in the last six months.
If you want to find out about these exercises, take the survey here.
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