There are many reasons why you may find their job miserable; probably as many reasons as there are jobs!!

That said, there are four key issues that seem to come up more than any other; four issues that are consistent culprits of workplace misery regardless of the type of workplace or nature of the job.

Work Stress – The Big 4!!

1.    Negativity from work colleagues.
2.    A bad boss.
3.    Burn out from being overworked.
4.    Lacking reward, feeling underpaid.

Since the solution to each of these specific issues can be applied to solve an even broader range of reasons for job dissatisfaction, let’s take a look at each issue one by one. This blog will cover negativity from work colleagues.

Negativity from work colleagues

We’ve already mentioned that there is no such thing as the perfect job. Every single vocation comes with things that you will like about it and things that you won’t. The same principle applies to your work colleagues. There are people you will naturally get along with, there will be people who you have to “try” to get along with, and there will be people who, no matter what you do, simply won’t get along with you at all through no fault of your own whatsoever.

There are some elements of work colleague negativity that fall within your locus of control and there are some that do not. You can’t control how other people think, but you can control the information that they receive upon which they base their thoughts and perceptions about you.

Your best weapon, regardless of the nature of negativity, is to take a positive and constructive approach to how you interact with your work colleagues.

The biggest problem many people have with workplace colleagues is allowing themselves to be drawn into conversations of negativity and, by default, fueling workplace negativity. One employee complains about a particular thing and another employee, who agrees with the complaint or who simply wishes to “fit in”, reinforces the complaint by agreeing with it.

Now you have two people talking about and focused on the negative of the thing, and if a third (maybe you?) then offers a different opinion, suddenly you have the seed of workplace rivalry. This can happen with individuals or groups. It can start regarding a minor issue and can lead to a major workplace conflict.  It can also go on in the background, perhaps in the lunchroom or on breaks, without the boss or manager having any idea at all. And negativity festers.

The way to overcome negative workplace conversation is, unsurprisingly, with positive workplace conversation. To be more precise, the answer finds itself in “solution-oriented speaking” or, to simplify it even further, to make it a point to:

Always speak constructively.

Many people think “positive speak” is a way of looking at issues with rose colored glasses – and it is, if all you do is approach issues with positive spin. But by talking constructively you are able to address issues without the need for positive spin and without negativity because everything you say about the issue is constructively geared towards a solution.

Example 1. Fueling negativity by not talking constructively

John: I hate sitting next to Mark.
Jane: I do too.
You: Why?
John: He constantly taps his pen on the damn desk.
Jane: It’s so annoying.
You: I’ll bet it is!!

In this example, John has stated an issue, Jane has reinforced it, and you have further reinforced it. The focus has remained on the negative aspect of the problem. Such a simple issue can be the cause of much larger issues, especially as a group of three workers find themselves united in their disdain for the actions of another worker! You’ve no doubt seen this or something similar happen at work before, ultimately leading to workplace fighting and, eventually, someone quitting out of unhappiness.

Now let’s look at how this could have gone if your focus was constructive:

Example 2: Speaking Constructively

John: I hate sitting next to Mark.
Jane: I do too.
You: Why?
John: He constantly taps his pen on the damn desk.
Jane: It’s so annoying.
You: It sounds it. Have either of you told him it’s annoying you?
John: Well, not directly.
Jane: Do we have to, I mean, it’s obvious.
You: Do you think he knows it’s obviously annoying you?
John: Probably not, I don’t know.
Jane: I don’t know either, maybe not.
You: Do you think if you told him that its distracting that he’d stop for you?
John: Maybe.
Jane: It’s worth a try.

In this example, as a result of engaging in constructive conversation with a solution-oriented mindset, you’ve managed to acknowledge John and Jane’s issue without reinforcing it, while simultaneously suggesting a solution for them to adopt in a way that drew them both to agree that it might be a solution. Now they too are thinking constructively.

As you can see, in many cases the art of constructive speaking is managed by asking solution-oriented questions. Negativity, whether in the workplace or elsewhere, is only a problem when it is allowed to fester and grow with reinforcement.

If you consistently ask constructive questions about how to solve every issue that you’re presented with, you’ll find in no time that people will perceive you as someone who is agreeable, helpful and therefore likeable. In fact, you may find that people will soon see you as the person to go to for advice if they have a problem! Ironically, most people will solve their own problems if you ask them the right questions.

If you’re currently working a job that you hate then you are already well aware of the harmful impact that your negative workplace experience is having on your life. We spend most of our days working in and around our jobs so it’s not rocket science to understand that when most of our day is not enjoyable, most of our life is also miserable.

Actually, it really is worse than simply saying “most of our life” because when our job makes us miserable our unhappiness spills over into all areas of our personal life. It is simply impossible to be extremely unhappy from 9 to 5 and extremely happy outside of those hours. The reason why this is true is the exact same reason why job hopping is not the solution to finding workplace happiness, and that is because it doesn’t exist.

There is no such thing as ‘workplace happiness’.

When you head off to work there is no happiness clock-in machine, there are no happiness vials in the lunch room, your desk isn’t coated with a happiness varnish, and your boss doesn’t wave a happiness wand. You can rummage through your desk, your colleagues’ desks, or through all of the operating manuals that your workplace offers, but you’ll come up empty handed if you’re searching for workplace happiness because the harsh truth is happiness isn’t in your workplace.

The only place happiness exists is within YOU.

Can you remember how elated you felt when you first heard the news that you had won your current job? Everyone feels ecstatic when they hear they have made it through the interview process and succeeded in winning the job. But, of course, it’s not the job itself that made you happy, you hadn’t even started it yet; it’s the various associations you had to the job that made you feel great about it. Those associations were the many benefits that, inside your own mind, you believed the job would bring you.

Your happiness at securing this job meant good things to you, such as a chance for you to do a certain thing, to earn a certain amount of money, to become more successful, to save up for a certain thing, to get out of debt, to meet new people, to improve yourself and so on.

You see, in the beginning, it wasn’t your job that made you happy; it was your view about it. Your perceptions about the various things that the job meant to you were what made you happy. It was how you were thinking about it that made you feel good. The happiness you experienced as a result of winning the job didn’t come from the workplace or from the job itself, it came from within you.

Here is why:

If I asked you what your life goals are, what would you say?

I’m going to take a guess that 90% of us would respond with:

• To find great love
• Get a great job
• Buy a nice house
• Get married
• Stay in great shape
• Raise a lovely family
• Enjoy my passions
• Spend time with my friends
• Be liked and loved
• Attain my dreams

Now, imagine you are having a conversation about having that great job with a 4-year old child. The conversation would probably go something like this:

You: “I want to have a great job.”

4-year old: “Why?”

You: “So that I can do what I love and earn a great salary.”

4-year old: “Why?”

You: “So I can enjoy my life.”

4-year old: “Why?”

You: “Because that will make me happy.”

The 4-year old child is extremely insightful. What we learn is that if we had the same conversation about any of your life goals, we would drill down to the same reason every time: We do everything in life to find happiness.

If you were a nerd (like me), you’d plot it on a graph that looked like this:

Then why aren’t we, as humans, happier?

One simple fact:

Money, Love, & Healthy COMBINED can only increase your happiness up to 10%. That’s right, it has been scientifically determined that this is the case. We’re going to talk about the science in a second, but first, let me ask you:

What does it mean that those things only increase or decrease your happiness by 10%?

It means if you were rich, had the perfect mate, and were in terrific health, you would only be 10% happier than if you were poor, single, and in bad shape physically. Sound false? Well, when I put it that way, maybe it sounds false, but what about when you look around you at people chasing after these three things.

1. Do you know anyone who has achieved financial success, yet is still unhappy?
2. Do you know anyone who is in a great relationship, but always seems to complain?
3. How about someone who is a skinny minnie and in great health, but still miserable…sound familiar?

I call these three people CHASERS. They chase happiness, but no matter what they chase, they come up short.

I was a chaser.

I was once ran a high-tech company with over 100 employees, I was married, had the house, the car, a great family, and I was…miserable. I was a chaser. Always going after the next thing that I thought would bring me true happiness and when I reached it, I realized that the boost I felt was only temporary. I would always go back to that set level of happiness (my genetic set point) and I was mystified. How come all of the things we have deemed important in Western, and now frankly, Eastern societies was not making me happy???

Because, we as a global society, have been chasing the wrong things.

Let me rephrase, we have been chasing the wrong things and there is scientific data that has now proven this fact.

Ok, what is this science I’ve been constantly referencing?

There are a group of people that have been asking this same holy grail type question…what actually makes people happy? But instead of just asking the question, they have made it their life work to study it scientifically. These people are Positive Psychologists and they study the Science of Happiness.

Now, I know what you’re thinking and I need to tell you that Positive Psychology is not some mumbo-jumbo-hippie-granola-new age trend. It is a Psychology which is a science. This science is based on theories. These theories are tested and supported by data. Positive Psychologists have tested tens of thousands of people for research and have spent tens of thousands of hours to determine some basic things like the fact that more money only makes us marginally happier.

Here is the Truth about Happiness:

• The Truth! Money, love, and health ONLY affect our level of happiness by up to 10%. That means if some of these things in your life are not going as you have planned, it does not matter. You can still scientifically increase your happiness no matter what your life circumstance!

• The Truth! Goal setting is not just about reaching the goals you’ve set; setting the goals in and of themselves has tremendous benefit. You wouldn’t go on a road trip without a map and the same goes for life. Learning how to goal set will increase your happiness.

•The Truth! People who have an opportunity to use their strengths at work, home, or school everyday are much happier than those that do not. The same goes for using your skills, talents, and creativity. You must take the assessments to identify your strengths and lean on them to increase your happiness!

• The Truth! Optimism can decrease your susceptibility for physical and mental weakness. Optimists view bad occurrences as temporary, specific, and often caused by external forces. These are signs of optimism and optimism can be learned.

• The Truth! Gratitude exercises done in a particular manner can not only increase your happiness, it can decrease blood pressure, boost your immune system, and decrease situational depression. The studies prove this!

•The Truth! It’s possible to be TOO happy! I know it sounds ridiculous, but on a scale of 1-10, it is better to be an 8 so that you will continue to strive to be a 10. If you consider yourself a 10 in every aspect of your life, you may become complacent. If you think about this one, it may make your head spin. Keep going, the science will show you how to be optimally happy.

•The Truth! The percentage of our happiness that is passed on by genes has been scientifically determined to be only 50%. That means 50% of our happiness is in our control and we now have the exercises to take that control and make ourselves happier!

You know what else? It has been Scientifically Tested and Proven that Happy people:

• Live Longer
• Get better jobs
• Get paid more
• Volunteer more
• Have lower blood pressure
• Less heart disease
• Enjoy longer marriages
• Achieve more of their goals
• And much more

Ok, so Here is the Honking Truth!!!

We are all chasing after the same thing. Whether it be a better job, promotion, husband, wife, children, house, good health, money etc. it all boils down to one thing – we all want to find true happiness.

Positive Psychologists, have given us the true and proven things that make people happy.

• The way we speak about the good and bad events in our lives will increase our set level of happiness.

• Expression of gratitude can decrease blood pressure and depression when practiced in a particular fashion.

• Job crafting including finding a job that uses your talents can lead to a higher paying job and satisfaction

• Acts of Kindness can actually be extremely beneficial for the one performing the act – that’s you!

The research is revolutionary and after spending 35 years chasing a smoke screen of happiness, I decided to join the revolution. I became a Certified Coach of Positive Psychology to coach myself into a happier life. Once I saw that what this cutting edge science reported actually worked, I felt it my duty to spread the word. But here’s the deal, there are tons of massive, academic like books out there giving you information about Positive Psychology.

Locked inside the Science of Positive Psychology are some of the true secrets to happiness

Here is what I learned – locked inside Positive Psychology is what we all seek- not a lecture on the necessity of being happy (sorry, Mom), but tested techniques on how to be happy; locked inside Positive Psychology was a system to be happy.

The problem?

The secrets to happiness are locked inside – they are buried in scientific speak and under hoards of testing and data that is difficult to apply to your practical home and work life.

The solution:

A system that Unlocks the Secrets: The Happy Gym.

Keep in the mind the underlined word above: System. The Happy Gym unlocks the secrets to happiness that are hidden within the study of Positive Psychology by making it easy and systematic for you to increase your happiness. The Happy Gym is not a science book. The Happy Gym walks you through sets of mental exercises that are based in scientific research and  inspired by the study of Positive Psychology and other studies on happiness.

What I have done over the last several years is develop a 20-day system that is easy to follow an integrate into your life with 5-10 minute exercises that you can do everyday. These mental workouts will increase your happiness and that is the bottom line!

I want you to be happier, because I know what is like to chase happiness and come up short.

I worked in the corporate world surrounded by chasers like myself that ran into disappointment after disappointment at every turn. I wanted to teach them about Positive Psychology, but I didn’t find too many resources out there that were easy to follow and provided a system. This is when I decided to create The Happy Gym.

At one point or another, we’ve all gone to the regular gym to lose weight. A gym provides motivation because there are other people using it and it works because it is systematic. The Happy Gym does the same thing for your mind and that the regular gym does for your body. The only difference is The Happy Gym only takes 5-10 minutes per day.

The information I’ve provided you above is only scratching the surface of what Positive Psychologists have discovered. Instead of chasing after what hasn’t worked in the past, use the scientifically proven techniques. Positive Psychologists have dedicated their lives to be able to tell us exactly how to achieve happiness.

Every individual training module – one a day for 20 days – will present you with each of the following:

• Details of one specific aspect of your life to be changed to become happier;

• Scientific proof that by tackling the daily task, you remove some of the doom and gloom that surrounds you bit-by-bit;

• An example of how you put the lesson concept into practice and finally

• Specific, practical exercises about how to take action on what you have just discovered.

Because every lesson in ‘The Happy Gym’ follows this same step-by-step structure, it is extremely easy to put what you learn each day into practice. Furthermore, because the book has been written in plain, easy to understand English, you don’t need a science degree to understand it.

In fact, if the science makes no sense at all – no matter – you’ll still get happier as long as you follow the practical exercises. And just in case you’ve forgotten, let me remind you of exactly what you will gain from owning your own copy of ‘The Happy Gym’.

Remember that research has established that there are a bunch of tangible benefits that happy people are more likely to enjoy than those who are unhappy?

Well, once you become happier, all of these benefits can be yours:

•You can get a more satisfying job than any that you have had before, one that puts more money in your pocket too.

•Within your new work environment, you are more likely to be promoted (remember that happy people make better leaders) and you will definitely achieve more than you might if you were unhappy.

•You will become more popular socially because most folks prefer to be around happy people.

•Struggling to find the best life partner for you should become a thing of the past. Again, you will be far more attractive to potential partners if you are a happy, cheerful individual than you would be if you are miserable and moribund.

•If you are already in a partnership or married, keeping your relationship together and settled will be much easier if you learn to enjoy life more than you were before.

•Getting out of bed every day will become easier, an experience that will be far more positive than it ever has been before. When you become optimistic about what the future holds, every day is a new adventure instead of being a chore that has to be survived.

•You are likely to be healthier and fitter than you are as an unhappy person. Healthier, fitter people live longer and get more out of life whilst they are doing so.

•In almost every imaginable way, the new happier you will be far more popular with everyone around you than the less-happy version was. Trust me, I know from sometimes bitter experience that people are happiest around other happy people, and I have no doubt at all that you will discover exactly the same.

I’m someone who has a simple plan based on advanced scientific knowledge that will make you happier. I genuinely want you to have access to this life-changing information today.

If you wish to find true happiness, but more importantly, you want to know the specific steps of how to do this – you’re at the right place…

Then you must get ‘The Happy Gym’ as soon as possible. Within a few days, it will start to increase your happiness.

Download your copy now for just $37.

Remember that (unlike your local gymnasium or fitness club), there are no monthly fees.
The total lifetime cost of becoming happier-ever-after at ‘The Happy Gym’ is just $37.
And you get Immediate Access with A Download!

That’s not a lot to pay to be happy, is it?

Now, at this price, I know that for the work I’ve put into ‘The Happy Gym’, it’s an absolute steal! Which is why this might be a short term trial price that I will up to something far more realistic soon. I don’t know when this will happen but there is one thing I can however state with 100% conviction. ‘The Happy Gym’ will never be cheaper than it is today.

You want to be happier now, right? Not next week or next month, now…

So, don’t hesitate a moment longer –
Download your copy of the Happy Gym for just $37 right now.

Love & Light,

Amelie Chance
Certified Coach of Positive Psychology
Your Personal Happiness Trainer

PS. Happiness is your right. It is your right TODAY so you cannot afford to delay ‘The Happy Gym’ one moment longer. Click the payment button above ‘enroll’ today…

P.P.S. I’m a real person. Please feel free to email me and ask me questions at info@howtofindhappiness.com

Do you understand How to be Happy? Take the Survey and see…
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What are your goals? Think of one. Got it? Ok, now ask yourself why you have that goal. Ok, do you have the answer? Now, ask yourself why you want that? Where am I going with this? To the diagram below. I promise that if you drill down on the reason you have a particular goal by continually asking the question “why?”, you will find that the utlimate answer you want anything in your life is to find happiness.

Would you agree? I’m guessing you would, but here is the big issue - if we don’t reach our goals, we may not be so happy. Worse yet, if we do reach our goals, sometimes the happiness is temporary or not there at all. It seems that our overall methods to attain happiness can be extremely challenging with a pay off that is not guaranteed.

Now, what if I told you that you could short circuit all of the above and go directly to the happiness part? What I’m saying is that no matter what your life circumstance, no matter if you are married or single, rich or not-so-rich, brown or green or purple, you could be happier. Would you believe it? Well, it’s possible. Scientists have done what people for ages have been waiting for – they have found sure fire methods and exercises to shift our set point of happiness – permanently.

This study is called Positive Psychology. It’s easy to understand and practice and you can learn more here on this website.

The first step you can take is to assess your level of happiness. Take the survey here.

In my life, I have been that person to whom people spill their guts. Deep, dark secrets, fears, and life complications seem to easily flow from friends, family, and even random strangers in search of some advice. Anywhere I would go, I would attract someone seeking advice.

Question: “Hey, Amelie, I think my husband is having an affair, what do you think I should do?”

Answer: “Couples counseling as a first effort…”

Question: “Amelie, I’ve put on 20 pounds I just can’t shed and I’m seriously depressed about it…suggestions?”

Answer: “You like to cook. You are joining the local healthy cooking club…”

Question: “I love my job, but I hate my boss. It’s really making me question whether to move onto a different company, but the economy is terrible. What do you think, Amelie?”

Answer: “The first step is a conversation with your boss…”

In all my advisement, I had come to one grand conclusion: No matter how difficult a challenge, there was always a practical solution – a plan of action – that can solve the problem.

That is, until this conversation…

“Hey, Amelie, I’m really not happy. I just feel miserable.”

“Ok, has something changed in your life recently or can you pinpoint the source of the misery?”

“Nope, I’m married and have a good job and a nice family. I can’t really pinpoint it, I just feel miserable.”

“What have you already tried to feel better?”

“Everything – seriously. I’ve read books on positive thinking, I’ve seen a therapist, and I feel better for a bit, but the words seem to only help temporarily.”

I said nothing. I was stumped. She had already tried some of the things I may have suggested, but there had to be a solution. How many people are walking around miserable? I decided not to give up – I did the research myself.

When I do research, I get really into it. I got my hands on every self-help book, audio-video course, and read through every article about happiness. I even went as far as to go speak to a therapist myself. As I was perusing through all my resources, something happened. I stumbled upon Positive Psychology – the study of what is right with humans and how this can lead to our own flourishing.

Positive Psychology, otherwise known as the Science of Happiness, had been producing the most amazing studies. The Science of Happiness. Really, a science? Really. Did you know that we all are born with a genetic set point of happiness. Basically, our DNA accounts for 50% of why we are or are not happy. I bet you’re thinking the other 50% depends on how your life turns out (where you live, who you marry, your job etc.) Nope! Research shows us that this type of life circumstance, while important, only accounts for 10% of our happiness!

So, if you were just born a less happy person due to your genes, are you doomed? Absolutely not. Here is the beauty of what positive pscyhology has determined,  the other 40% factor that determines are happiness is in our control! We can do exercises and activities to make ourselves happier – permanently. The best part? The research is supported by science.

There are actually ways to SCIENTIFICALLY increase our happiness with practical exercises. At first, I didn’t buy it either. I was like, “You’re trying to tell me that I gain as much doing some happiness exercises as I would if I landed my dream job?” So, I tried it myself. Low and behold…a few days and a few exercises later, I felt happier. It was wild.

I called up my friend and told her what I had discovered and advised her to try some of the exercises…guess what? It helped. In fact, within a week she reported getting a better night’s sleep than she had in the last six months.

If you want to find out about these exercises, take the survey here.

Evidence shows that people don’t make changes when they hit rock bottom. It’s hard if not impossible to make much positive change happen from that dark, down in the dumps, negative space.

“What do you mean? I’ve seen many people finally make positive change only when they’ve hit an extreme low.”

Negative emotions narrow our focus, when people choose to make a change in their life, they usually tap into the positive emotion of hope in order to make the change happen.

It is the hope that something will be better than where they are at that causes them to embrace and work towards change.

When it comes to producing, getting yourself into a positive space is going to help you do that. For example, when I work with clients and we are working out how to get them to their goal, if they are in a negative space and I ask them to make a list of all the ways they could get to their goal, that list will be considerably short.

However, if they are in a positive space, that list is significantly longer. That is because positive emotions broaden our ability to see possibilities, options and pathways.

There are many ways that I teach clients to get out of negative states and to focus more on the positive. Such as taking a moment to focus on what they are grateful for, doing a mindfulness meditation or I simply describing their vision of what it will be like when their goals are accomplished.

Positive emotions are critical for making positive changes happen.

What are you waiting for?

Are you waiting for things to get really bad before you attempt to create the things you want in your life?

What do you want right now?

Get yourself into a positive state using one of the techniques I just gave you.

Then put your goal in the center of a page, then create lines from the center with all the different options, steps, connections, and details of what will enable you to get that goal accomplished.

You are awesome! Go ahead, make your goals a reality.

To find out the truth about happiness, take the survey here.