There are many reasons why you may find their job miserable; probably as many reasons as there are jobs!!
That said, there are four key issues that seem to come up more than any other; four issues that are consistent culprits of workplace misery regardless of the type of workplace or nature of the job.
Work Stress – The Big 4!!
1. Negativity from work colleagues.
2. A bad boss.
3. Burn out from being overworked.
4. Lacking reward, feeling underpaid.
Since the solution to each of these specific issues can be applied to solve an even broader range of reasons for job dissatisfaction, let’s take a look at each issue one by one. This blog will cover negativity from work colleagues.
Negativity from work colleagues 
We’ve already mentioned that there is no such thing as the perfect job. Every single vocation comes with things that you will like about it and things that you won’t. The same principle applies to your work colleagues. There are people you will naturally get along with, there will be people who you have to “try” to get along with, and there will be people who, no matter what you do, simply won’t get along with you at all through no fault of your own whatsoever.
There are some elements of work colleague negativity that fall within your locus of control and there are some that do not. You can’t control how other people think, but you can control the information that they receive upon which they base their thoughts and perceptions about you.
Your best weapon, regardless of the nature of negativity, is to take a positive and constructive approach to how you interact with your work colleagues.
The biggest problem many people have with workplace colleagues is allowing themselves to be drawn into conversations of negativity and, by default, fueling workplace negativity. One employee complains about a particular thing and another employee, who agrees with the complaint or who simply wishes to “fit in”, reinforces the complaint by agreeing with it.
Now you have two people talking about and focused on the negative of the thing, and if a third (maybe you?) then offers a different opinion, suddenly you have the seed of workplace rivalry. This can happen with individuals or groups. It can start regarding a minor issue and can lead to a major workplace conflict. It can also go on in the background, perhaps in the lunchroom or on breaks, without the boss or manager having any idea at all. And negativity festers.
The way to overcome negative workplace conversation is, unsurprisingly, with positive workplace conversation. To be more precise, the answer finds itself in “solution-oriented speaking” or, to simplify it even further, to make it a point to:
Always speak constructively.
Many people think “positive speak” is a way of looking at issues with rose colored glasses – and it is, if all you do is approach issues with positive spin. But by talking constructively you are able to address issues without the need for positive spin and without negativity because everything you say about the issue is constructively geared towards a solution.
Example 1. Fueling negativity by not talking constructively
John: I hate sitting next to Mark.
Jane: I do too.
You: Why?
John: He constantly taps his pen on the damn desk.
Jane: It’s so annoying.
You: I’ll bet it is!!
In this example, John has stated an issue, Jane has reinforced it, and you have further reinforced it. The focus has remained on the negative aspect of the problem. Such a simple issue can be the cause of much larger issues, especially as a group of three workers find themselves united in their disdain for the actions of another worker! You’ve no doubt seen this or something similar happen at work before, ultimately leading to workplace fighting and, eventually, someone quitting out of unhappiness.
Now let’s look at how this could have gone if your focus was constructive:
Example 2: Speaking Constructively
John: I hate sitting next to Mark.
Jane: I do too.
You: Why?
John: He constantly taps his pen on the damn desk.
Jane: It’s so annoying.
You: It sounds it. Have either of you told him it’s annoying you?
John: Well, not directly.
Jane: Do we have to, I mean, it’s obvious.
You: Do you think he knows it’s obviously annoying you?
John: Probably not, I don’t know.
Jane: I don’t know either, maybe not.
You: Do you think if you told him that its distracting that he’d stop for you?
John: Maybe.
Jane: It’s worth a try.
In this example, as a result of engaging in constructive conversation with a solution-oriented mindset, you’ve managed to acknowledge John and Jane’s issue without reinforcing it, while simultaneously suggesting a solution for them to adopt in a way that drew them both to agree that it might be a solution. Now they too are thinking constructively.
As you can see, in many cases the art of constructive speaking is managed by asking solution-oriented questions. Negativity, whether in the workplace or elsewhere, is only a problem when it is allowed to fester and grow with reinforcement.
If you consistently ask constructive questions about how to solve every issue that you’re presented with, you’ll find in no time that people will perceive you as someone who is agreeable, helpful and therefore likeable. In fact, you may find that people will soon see you as the person to go to for advice if they have a problem! Ironically, most people will solve their own problems if you ask them the right questions.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
This is fantastic! Thank you for sharing, and reminding others of our inner wisdome. All we need is within us. Sometimes we need some reminders or someone to talk to. The human condition shares more shared experiences than we consciously recall. It is from this stance that TV shows make sense and become popular, as do movies and books, so we know this…but sometimes we forget.
Danielle
Excellent advice. May I add that John should also be prepared to take a hostile reaction from Mark in his stride.